Traditionally, black has been the go-to choice for funeral attire. It’s seen as a way to show respect and match the sombre tone of the day. But these days, funeral dress codes are a lot more relaxed. More people are focusing on celebrating the person’s life rather than just mourning their passing, and your outfit can reflect that, too. While black is still the most common choice, it’s no longer the only option.

So, do you have to wear black to a funeral? Nope, not necessarily. Unless the family asks explicitly for it, you don’t have to wear black. You can usually get away with wearing darker, more subdued colours, such as dark grey, brown, or navy. Shades like deep green, purple, or even lighter greys can work too. If you still feel like black is the most appropriate choice, adding a little pop of colour elsewhere is okay, like with a tie or scarf.

If you want to wear patterns, that’s fine. Just keep them subtle unless the family has requested something bolder. Looking smart and tidy is what matters at the end of the day, as it shows you’re honouring the occasion.

For some families, “no black” means no solid black, so darker, more muted tones are acceptable. For others, it might mean brighter colours or even bold patterns are welcome. If you’re unsure, try to find out what the family means by “no black.” If you’re still unsure, lean towards more subdued colours, but feel free to express yourself with accessories like hats, jewellery, or scarves.

Sometimes, families will request something very specific, such as a particular colour or even a specific item, like a hat that shows support for the deceased’s favourite football club. This usually happens with more personalised or “celebration of life” funerals, where the deceased might have had a particular style or vibe. If that’s the case, you can’t go wrong. Pick something that feels comfortable, respectful, and a little like you.

And hey, you don’t have to go all out if that’s not your style. A simple dress or a bold tie can still be respectful and show you’ve put some thought into your outfit.

If there’s a dress code, it’ll usually be listed on the funeral notice or memorial page. If you don’t see anything specific, it’s safe to assume darker, subdued colours are the way to go. But if you’re close to the family or know someone who is, you can always ask them directly or even check with the funeral director; they’re usually happy to help.

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Written by Jon Matson-Higgins, Minister & Celebrant based in Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, Rutland and Northamptonshire.