Writing your own wedding vows can feel incredibly special.
However, it can also feel a little overwhelming too.
Many couples tell me they worry they will not know what to say. Some feel they are not good with words. Others worry they may become emotional standing in front of family and friends during the ceremony.
The truth is, personal wedding vows do not need to sound like poetry or something from a film.
In fact, the most meaningful wedding vows are often the simplest ones because they come from the heart.
Start with your relationship
When writing personal wedding vows, begin by reflecting on your relationship.
Think about the moments that matter most.
Ask yourself:
- What do you love most about your partner?
- What makes you smile about them?
- What have they brought into your life?
- What do you appreciate about them every day?
Often, the smallest things become the most touching parts of a wedding ceremony.
It may be the way they make you laugh during difficult times. The way they support you quietly. Or simply how they make life feel safe, calm, and happy.
These are the moments that make vows feel real and personal.
Your wedding vows should sound like you
One of the biggest pieces of advice I give couples is this:
Do not try to sound like somebody else.
Your wedding vows should sound natural and comfortable for you.
They can be:
- Romantic
- Emotional
- Gentle
- Funny
- Simple
- Or a mixture of all of these things
There is no “correct” way to write wedding vows.
Some couples include promises for the future. Others focus on friendship, loyalty, support, or the everyday moments that matter most in a marriage.
What matters is honesty.
That is what people remember.
Do not worry about perfection
Many people put huge pressure on themselves when writing wedding vows.
Please try not to.
Nobody sitting in that ceremony room is expecting perfection.
The people listening will hear the love and sincerity behind your words far more than perfectly written sentences.
Sometimes the small pauses, the laughter, or even the tears become the moments people remember most warmly.
That is what makes personal vows feel genuine.
Should you write wedding vows together?
There is no right or wrong approach here either.
Some couples choose to write their vows together. This can help create balance and reassurance.
Others prefer to keep their vows private until the wedding ceremony itself, which can create a lovely emotional moment on the day.
Both approaches can work beautifully.
As a wedding celebrant, I gently guide couples through the process and help them feel comfortable, supported, and confident with whatever approach feels right for them.
Keep your wedding vows simple
One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to keep your vows simple.
You do not need long, complicated wording.
A few heartfelt promises can often say far more than pages of carefully polished writing.
Warm. Personal. Honest.
Those are usually the vows that stay in people’s hearts long after the ceremony has ended.
What I would like you to take away from this is…
Your wedding vows are one of the most personal parts of your ceremony.
They are not about impressing people.
They are about speaking honestly to the person you love.
So take a breath, speak from the heart, and trust that your words will be enough.
Because they always are.
If you would like to learn more about me, my background, and the services I offer, please visit my About Jon Matson-Higgins page or my Wedding Celebrant page.
I understand that planning a ceremony can sometimes feel overwhelming, so if you have any questions or would simply like an informal chat, please feel free to contact me through my contact page.
The information given in this blog is for information only
Written by Jon Matson-Higgins, Minister & Celebrant based in Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, Rutland and Northamptonshire.