One of the first things families often say to me when we begin arranging a military funeral is, "We want to get it right."

It's a completely understandable concern.

For many families, this is the first time they have ever arranged a funeral with military traditions, and they worry about making mistakes. They aren't sure whether medals should be displayed, whether a flag can cover the coffin or whether the Last Post is appropriate. Some wonder if their loved one even qualifies for a military funeral because they left the Armed Forces many years ago.

The reassuring news is that there isn't a single way to arrange a military funeral.

Every veteran's story is different, and every farewell should reflect the person behind the uniform rather than trying to follow a fixed set of rules. Military traditions can add tremendous dignity to a funeral, but they should never become more important than the individual whose life we have gathered to celebrate.

One of the things I have come to appreciate from supporting military families is that service rarely ends when someone leaves the Armed Forces. Whether they served in the Royal Navy, the Army, the Royal Air Force or the Royal Marines, many veterans carry that part of their life with them forever. They stay in touch with former comrades, attend reunions, remain involved with veterans' organisations and continue to speak proudly about the people they served alongside. Those years helped shape who they became, and it is only natural that families want to acknowledge them during the funeral.

People are often surprised to learn that military funerals can be as simple or as traditional as they wish. Some families choose nothing more than a brief acknowledgement of military service during the eulogy. Others include the person's medals, photographs from their time in uniform or the flag of the service in which they served. Some decide to invite standard bearers, arrange a guard of honour or include the Last Post as part of the committal. There is no right or wrong approach because no two veterans, and no two families, are ever the same.

If you are beginning to arrange a military funeral, one of the best places to start is by talking to your funeral director or celebrant about your loved one's service. You don't need to arrive with every detail or every document. In many cases, simply knowing which branch of the Armed Forces they served in, together with any medals, photographs or service records you may have, is enough to begin planning a meaningful tribute. Veteran organisations such as the Royal British Legion and service associations are often happy to help with standard bearers, ceremonial advice and other military elements if families would like to include them.

Families regularly ask me about flags because they are one of the most recognisable military traditions. A service flag, such as the White Ensign or the RAF Ensign, can provide a powerful visual reminder of someone's years in uniform. Many people don't realise, however, that the flag is removed before the coffin is committed. Whether the funeral is a burial or a cremation, the flag is carefully folded and returned to the family. It is always carried out with great dignity, and it often becomes one of the most memorable moments of the service.

The same is true of medals. They may seem like small pieces of metal to someone who doesn't know their history, but to a family they represent years of dedication, service and sacrifice. I've often seen children and grandchildren discover the significance of a medal for the very first time whilst helping to prepare for the funeral. Those conversations become part of the family's story, ensuring that future generations understand something of what their loved one experienced.

Military traditions such as standard bearers, guards of honour and the Last Post all have their place, but I've always believed they should support the funeral rather than define it. Their purpose is not to create spectacle. They exist to express respect in ways that words sometimes cannot. When they are included thoughtfully and for the right reasons, they add depth and meaning to the farewell without ever overshadowing the person being remembered.

One thing I have learnt from leading military funerals is that every branch of the Armed Forces has its own identity. A Royal Navy funeral often reflects a lifelong connection with the sea and the friendships formed aboard ship. Army families frequently speak about regimental pride and comradeship. Royal Air Force families remember the opportunities, travel and professionalism that shaped their loved one's life, while Royal Marines families often describe a sense of brotherhood that never truly faded after service ended. Understanding those differences helps create a funeral that feels personal rather than simply military.

For me, the most important part of any funeral is the committal. The eulogy celebrates a life, shares memories and helps us smile through our tears, but the committal is where we say our final goodbye. Whether that moment includes the Last Post, a period of silence, the lowering of standards or simply a few carefully chosen words, it is often the point families remember most clearly. It is where military tradition and personal farewell come together in a way that feels deeply respectful.

Whenever I conduct a military funeral, I remind myself that the uniform tells only part of the story. Behind every medal is a person who was loved. Behind every military career is a family who shared in the sacrifices that service often brings. Behind every act of remembrance is a lifetime of memories that deserve to be celebrated.

That is why military funerals matter so much.

They allow us to recognise service with dignity, to acknowledge commitment with gratitude and, above all, to remember the person behind the uniform.

When those things come together, the result is far more than a military ceremony. It becomes a personal farewell that reflects a life of service, honours the memories shared with family and friends and gives everyone present the opportunity to say goodbye with pride, love and respect.

If you would like to learn more about me, my background, and the services I offer, please visit my About Jon Matson-Higgins page or my Funeral Celebrantpage.

I have created some basic information to help guide what to do after someone passes away, and some resources to support bereavement. I understand that planning a ceremony can sometimes feel overwhelming, so if you have any questions or would simply like an informal chat, please feel free to contact me through my contact page.

 

The information given in this blog is for information only

Written by Jon Matson-Higgins, Minister & Celebrant based in Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, Rutland and Northamptonshire