As a funeral celebrant, one of the questions I’m asked most often is, “What music should I play at my funeral?”

The truth is, there isn’t a right or wrong answer.

Over the years, I’ve conducted funeral services with everything from traditional hymns and classical music through to rock anthems, country songs, television theme tunes, and even heavy metal. The best funeral music isn’t necessarily the most popular choice. It’s the music that means something to you and the people who love you.

Music has an incredible way of bringing back memories, creating emotion, and telling a story. Long after the service has ended, it’s often the music that family and friends remember most.

If you’re planning ahead for your own funeral, or arranging a funeral for a loved one, here are some things I encourage families to think about.

Why is music so important at a funeral?

Music helps create the atmosphere for the service and can often express emotions that words alone cannot.

A particular song may remind people of family holidays, weddings, special occasions, or simply happy moments spent together. Sometimes a song captures a person’s character perfectly. Other times it reflects their beliefs, their hobbies, or their outlook on life.

The music you choose can help people smile, laugh, reflect, and remember.

Most importantly, it helps make the service personal.

Gathering music

Gathering music is often overlooked, but it can play an important role.

This is the music that is played as family and friends arrive at the chapel and take their seats before the service begins.

I often encourage families to think about music that their loved one enjoyed listening to in everyday life. It can help create a warm and welcoming atmosphere and gives mourners something familiar to connect with as they arrive.

Some families choose gentle instrumental music, while others create a playlist of favourite songs that reflect the person’s tastes and personality.

Gathering music can immediately help people feel that the service is about the individual they have come to remember.

Entrance music

The entrance music is played as the coffin enters the chapel or as the service begins.

This piece of music often sets the tone for the ceremony. Some families choose something reflective and emotional, while others prefer a favourite song that immediately reminds everyone of the person being remembered.

There are no rules. The most important thing is that it feels right.

Music for reflection

Many funeral services include a moment of reflection, often accompanied by a visual tribute or photographs.

This is an opportunity to choose a piece of music that captures memories and emotions. It might be a song that was particularly meaningful to the person, a favourite artist, or simply something that reflects their life and personality.

These moments can be emotional, but they can also be uplifting and celebratory.

Committal music

The committal is the most significant moment of the service.

People often think the eulogy is the most important part of a funeral. Of course, the eulogy matters deeply because it tells the story of a person’s life. But the committal is different. It is the moment of final farewell.

This is when we commit the person into our care for their final journey.

Because of the importance of this moment, I always suggest choosing something gentle, meaningful, and comforting. Many families prefer instrumental music, although a song with lyrics can be equally appropriate if it holds special significance.

The committal music doesn’t need to be overly sad. Some families choose peaceful pieces that provide comfort, while others choose music that reflects hope, love, or treasured memories.

When chosen thoughtfully, committal music can create a beautiful and memorable final goodbye.

Exit music

The exit music is played as family and friends leave the chapel.

This is often the last thing people hear before they leave, which makes it a powerful choice.

Many families choose something uplifting and positive. After all, a funeral isn’t only about loss. It’s also about celebrating a life that has been lived.

I’ve seen families leave to everything from Frank Sinatra and Vera Lynn to Queen and The Beatles. The songs that work best are usually the ones that make people think, “That was so them.”

Popular funeral songs

Some songs remain popular year after year because they connect with so many people.

Common choices include:

• Time to Say Goodbye
• My Way
• Angels
• Supermarket Flowers
• You Raise Me Up
• Somewhere Over the Rainbow
• Let It Be
• We’ll Meet Again
• Tears in Heaven
• Wind Beneath My Wings

While these songs are popular for good reason, I always remind families that they don’t have to choose something simply because it’s traditional. Please click here for additional music ideas.

Don’t be afraid to choose something different

Some of the most memorable funeral services I’ve conducted have included unexpected music choices.

One person may be remembered through classical music, another through Elvis Presley, and another through AC/DC.

I’ve conducted services where football anthems, film soundtracks, country music, and favourite pub singalong songs have all played an important part in telling someone’s story.

The music doesn’t need to fit anyone else’s expectations. It simply needs to reflect the person being remembered.

Questions I Often Ask Families

If you’re struggling to choose music, try asking yourself:

• What music did they listen to most often?
• What song always made them smile?
• Was there a song connected to a special memory?
• What music would family and friends instantly associate with them?
• What message would they want to leave behind?

The answers often make the choice much easier.

My Advice as a Funeral Celebrant

After conducting hundreds of funeral services, my advice is simple.

Choose music that means something.

Don’t worry about what other people expect. Don’t feel you have to follow tradition if it doesn’t feel right.

The most meaningful funerals are the ones that genuinely reflect the life, personality, and wishes of the person being remembered.

Whether that’s a hymn, a classical piece, a chart hit, a rock anthem, or something completely unexpected, the right music is the music that tells their story.

And ultimately, that’s what every funeral should do.

If you would like to learn more about me, my background, and the services I offer, please visit my About Jon Matson-Higgins page or my Funeral Celebrant page.

I have created some basic information to help guide what to do after someone passes away, and some resources to support bereavement. I understand that planning a ceremony can sometimes feel overwhelming, so if you have any questions or would simply like an informal chat, please feel free to contact me through my contact page.

 

The information given in this blog is for information only

Written by Jon Matson-Higgins, Minister & Celebrant based in Lincolnshire, Cambridgeshire, Norfolk, Suffolk, Rutland and Northamptonshire