How to Support a Grieving Child

Grieving can affect kids just as deeply as it does adults, though they might express it in different ways. Sometimes, they can’t find the words to explain how they feel, so their emotions come out through their behaviour. One moment, they might seem fine; the next, they could feel overwhelmed with sadness or anger. There’s no “right” way to grieve for any of us. Supporting a child during this time can help them process everything and start to heal.

Here are some of the ways you can support a grieving child:

Welcome Their Questions and Talk About It Openly. Kids don’t fully understand death, and they’ll likely be trying to make sense of it, and their understanding will change as they grow. If they’re asking questions, they’re probably missing a piece of the puzzle. Please encourage them to ask anything and be open to talking about it. The more you talk honestly about death, the more at ease they’ll feel. It’s best to avoid using soft terms like “gone to sleep” or “lost” because that might confuse or scare them. Use simple, age-appropriate language like “dead” or “death” so they get a clear understanding.

Encourage Them to Express Their Feelings. One of the most important things you can do is help your child express what they’re feeling. Ensure they know it’s okay to feel all kinds of emotions, sadness, anger, or even moments of happiness. You might want to protect them from the pain but allowing them to feel and talk about everything will help them build emotional strength. Sharing your feelings shows them it’s okay to talk things through. Also, activities like drawing, writing, or playing music can be great ways for them to work through challenging feelings.

Remember the Person Who’s Gone. It can be hard for kids to grasp that the person who has passed is truly gone, especially when they’re used to seeing them regularly. Creating ways to remember the person can help make their grief easier to manage and show them that they’re not forgotten. Share memories, look through old photos, and encourage them to make art or a scrapbook to remember the person. You could also start small rituals, like lighting a candle on their birthday or visiting a place they loved. This gives your child a sense of connection and comfort.

Spend Quality Time Together. Spending quality time with your child during this tough time is crucial. Just being there for them, without distractions, can provide a lot of reassurance. Whether reading together, playing a game, baking, or going for a walk, it’s about being present and showing them that it’s okay to have fun, even while grieving. It can also help them see that life can continue to be enjoyable even though things are different now.

Stick to a Routine. Kids find comfort in routine, so keeping things as normal as possible after a death can be helpful. Once the initial shock has passed, try to get back into a routine—going to school, participating in hobbies, or seeing friends. It helps remind them that life is still going on. Of course, every child is different, so some might need more time off from school or activities than others. Keep an eye on what your child needs in the moment and adjust accordingly.

If You Need Extra Help. Sometimes, a child might need more support than you can give as a parent or caregiver. Don’t hesitate to contact your GP for advice on resources that could help. You might also consider speaking to a bereavement counsellor who specializes in grief support for children. Great charities like Winston’s Wish and Child Bereavement UK offer support, and organizations like Cruse Bereavement Support and Mind can help people of all ages.

This information given in this blog is for information only

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