A Gentle Guide for Your Grief Journey

The death of someone close to us is one of the most challenging and life-altering experiences we may ever face. Grief affects us all in different ways—sometimes gently, sometimes like a wave that knocks us off our feet. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are helpful truths that can guide us through.

As a Minister, Celebrant and Grief Counsellor I’d like to share some kind and reassuring thoughts on grief—what it is, how it may unfold, and how to care for yourself along the way.

Grief is Normal

Grief is not a weakness. It is a deeply human response to losing someone we love.

 “People are often encouraged to ‘be strong’—but crying and expressing emotion are an essential part of our healing. There is nothing weak about tears. They help us honour what we’ve lost and acknowledge the love we carry.”

Your Grief Is Unique to You

There is no template for how grief should look or feel. Whether your loss was expected or sudden, you have every right to feel what you’re feeling.

No two grief journeys are alike—and that’s okay. You are not broken. You are human.

Grieving is Hard Work

Grief is not just emotional—it’s physical, mental, and spiritual. It can leave you feeling tired, anxious, distant from others, or unable to face things you once enjoyed. This is all part of the process.

It’s important to give yourself time, space, and gentleness. You don’t have to “bounce back.” You are healing, and that takes energy.

Grief is Not a Straight Line

Grief is often misunderstood as something you simply “get over.” But losing someone we love changes our world permanently.

Jon offers a powerful image: it’s like a jigsaw puzzle that’s been broken apart. Over time, we piece together a new picture. Life can be meaningful again—but it will be different. This journey is yours, and it doesn’t follow a neat path from A to B.

Grief Can Be Unpredictable

Some days you may feel okay. Other days, sorrow may wash over you unexpectedly—a song, a smell, a memory, even a moment of silence.

This unpredictability is natural. These emotional waves are not setbacks; they are part of how we love and remember.

The Weight of Secondary Losses

While we grieve the person we lost, we may also feel the weight of other losses: a change in lifestyle, relationships, finances, or even a loss of identity and hope for the future.

These “secondary losses” are often invisible to others, but they matter. Be gentle with yourself as you adjust to all the ripples that loss can bring.

Looking After Yourself While Grieving

Grief takes time—more time than most people realise. There’s no need to rush.

Here are some gentle reminders:

• Give yourself permission to grieve, without pressure to ‘move on’.
• Delay big decisions where you can.
• Try to nourish your body with food and gentle movement.
• Reach out for help—from friends, family, your GP, or a bereavement counsellor.

You are not alone.

In Closing

As a Minister and Celebrant, I have witnessed grief in many forms. It is my honour to walk alongside individuals and families as they remember, mourn, and begin to heal.

If you are grieving, please know this: your pain matters. Your memories matter. And love—though changed—does not end.

The information given in this blog is for information only

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